We all wish our lives where a bit different them they actually are, it’s normal, we are humans, we are born with the instinct to never be happy. I too wish my life was different...
I wish i could stop giving a fuck about people who have hurt me, stop caring about them, and just act like they dont exist. If the people who i have been best friends with, for the last 8 years suddenly decide, that I mean nothing to them, it’s should be cool right? Their loss, i have new friends, but then why does it hurt so much? Why do i still keep thinking about the way they screwed my life??
And then ofcous i wish i had never met him. Oh god, how much simpler my life would have been, now that he is in my life, i just can’t let him go, i know i have to someday.... but the thing is the someday is too close now. This is my last year with him. Last year, the finality of the tone, scares me to bits. What if i can’t get over him? What if even when i am not with him, i still continue to love him...then? What a screwed up life ill lead. It’s not like I’ve never felt something for anyone but him, i have. But it’s like he is in my subconscious thought, even unintentionally, I’m thinking about him. Before everything i do, what will he think? That’s all that i can think about.
And i finally I wish, that tomorrow would not be the 17th of September, cause tomorrow it will be 2 years and 3 months of liking him. Yeah I have a great life.